observing death

there's not much

left to do now

except watch

him die 

as he lay there still

motionless 

surviving on 

artificial breath

and sweeteners

to give the 

impression that 

there is life

still left inside

i just look on

motionless 

as I realize 

that I have 

been surviving on the 

artificial  breath

of others 

and pretending 

that I still

got life left

in me 

it just gets worse as days go by

the wife says,
“why you grumpy”

“because I am”

she says,

“its more constant

these days”

“oh well, what do you

want at the market?”

and when I get home

i’m gonna lock

myself upstairs

in my room

block the sun

out on this particularly

lovely November day

stare at the walls

watch “Abraham Lincoln

vampire hunter”

and wait for this long day

to end

ill be happy when it’s all over

and I can go back to having

in depth conversations

with  my wife

a little about me

i can be a

moody 'son of a bitch’

especially when I’m

angry

don’t get my way

i'm sick

sexually frustrated

its an awful affliction

i have

i can write you off

in no time

and the only known cure

is to

just give in to me

the bar doesn’t even want me

its  a dead end

when i pull up

to the watering hole

the lights outside

are shut down

disappointment on

my face

the tv inside is passing out

from having too many

drinks that i will not

indulge in

i had plans to drink

sour whiskey

until my eyes closed

and piss out my problems

i see a small elegant

slender figure walking about

i know that figure

as i studied it

many times over

i wait for the “open”

sign to turn on

but

the figure disappears

into the dark

and the tv is out cold

nothing new to me

so i move on

my five year physical

it’s been a while since
i've seen the doc
for a check up to
see how my system
is running

i disrobe and put
on my “Johnny”

we go over my
test results

my weight has increased
10 pounds
since the last time
he tells me it’s
alright to gain
2 pounds a year

my cholesterol
is way too high
and its blamed on
genetics

he is giving me
4 months to get
it down without
medication

everything else seems
to be in working order

my
limbs
heart
liver
breathing
pulse
penis

my ass also “feels”
good inside
(at least to him)
im not sure
what he is looking
for in there
but i’m assuming
he will let me know
if it’s not so good

i walked out trying
to figure out a new diet
having a new outlook
on life
and feeling like i have
to relieve myself

just another day I guess

women

Women are creatures that will never be understood. Everything is on their time and on their playing field (this is not a “man’s world”). But yet we torture ourselves trying to figure it out and allow them to lease a space in our prehistoric minds.  We drown ourselves in their beauty and envy what they have until the novelty wears off. But in the meantime, we devote ourselves to thinking about them every second. Wondering what they are doing. Wondering if they are thinking of “us”. Wondering if they want to fuck “us” as much as you want to fuck them. But they don’t. They run everything.

this is what we are..

we as a society
whether we admit
it or not are drawn to
disasters in life
drama
mishaps
destruction
that’s why we get 

ourselves in conflict
volatile relationships
it is what makes us breathe
enjoy pleasant summer days
dark winter days
the smell of mowed grass
without it we would not
need bars and alcohol
we would all be in our
safe homes, living our safe
lives and eating cherry pie
so right now
ill just my end
day with highball