poem for academia

I don’t spit, recite (from my head), perform or slam

I am not sought after for events

I don’t travel the country to share

I have been rejected for my words

I self publish

I don’t use proper form or enough metaphors

I don’t spin heads, encourage finger snapping or

Make women wet, as words roll from my tongue

I just drink, write bullshit and read 

why wait

i’m sitting at the computer

sipping on Jim Beam

staring at my broken window

it’s all rotted out on the bottom

needs a new latch

so i can shut it properly

to keep the cold winds out

during the winter season

i’ve been putting it off

now for a year and a half

because it does not seem that

important, until i’m sitting here

and then i’m reminded

of what needs to be done

it’s like many things in life

i suppose that one cliché does fit

‘don’t put off tomorrow

what can be done today”

because tomorrow might not

even get here

relationships

are built on games, two faces,

fraud, untruths, half truths, some truths

and misery mixed with

some happiness in between

unless of course your the lucky

few that can keep that smile plastered on

and find that contentment to keep moving

as time goes by

the conversations are reduced

to questions with short answers

or no answers at all

date nights consist of

silent lips moving up & down

mouthing topics about the kids

pending weather

and bills

that’s why animals just mate

they know better

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better in my own mind

she told me

that she thought of me

from “time to time”

and why not?

people always think of people

they know

even if it’s just

a quick thought

going through the head

a quick image

a thought about

completely nothing

of course

in my case

when I hear that

my thoughts go

straight in to the gutter

and my mind wanders

she must have known that

because she immediately

clarified that

“it was nothing sexual”

i knew that it was nothing

more than a thought

but for a brief moment

i wanted to think otherwise

and bask in it

as it gets boring and monotonous

sometimes outside my head

so i typically retreat back inside

where i can get lost

and things seem better

random emails

i keep receiving emails

from different women

stating that they found me

on a dating website

not sure how

but I try to engage

for the hell of it

i respond to each and every inquiry

the same way

“great, now send me a pic”

each response is the same

directing me to some other site

where you need to create an account to

access their pics

they just don’t send pics to

any man

they want to make sure your for real

hence, the directive to “secure” site

even when I tell them to

go fuck themselves, go shit in their fists

i get the same response

they must really appreciate

my use of the English language

because the emails don’t stop

bull shit and reality

one was a “flight nurse”
saving lives 4 days a week
on 12 hour shifts

the other was a
“buyer for Coke”
or an “ex stripper”
or just still trying
to figure out who she
wants to be when
sitting at a bar

but both were really
single mothers
divorcees
dealing in the
sales and rentals
of portable toilets (of any kind)
dumpsters
temporary fencing
anything to get rid of your waste
or to keep the waste out

they were both
vivacious
good to look at
educated
and curious

they emitted sex appeal
that any man or woman
would appreciate

the younger one
the one confused about
who she wants to be
likes “older men”
the older one
the flight nurse
likes “younger men”

i didn’t fit either mold

i just so happen to be sitting
next to them
drowning my anger in
meat and beer

they were a good distraction
for a brief moment

the flight nurse asked
if i would write about them
i told her eventually i would

eventually came sooner
than later
as did reality

i paid my tab
and went on my way
wondering later on
if the
“ I don’t like sweater vest” status
was about me