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Wednesday, June 14, 2017

There is a melody
That plays inside
My heart

It thumps
And beats
To the sound
Of her breath
Her walk
The crinkle
  Of her smile
The movement
  Of her eyes

The melody
Will continue to play
For as long as
There is an audience

Under this rough exterior
Is a sensitive, passionate
Mean spirited son of a bitch

However, I am working
On the latter of the flaws
With some help
From my shrink

She does think
Its great that I am
In touch with
My feminine side
But I am not sure
How to take that

Those “feminine” qualities
(her words, not mine)
Of acknowledging “feelings”
Can cause nothing but
Suffering and grief
Because too much of it
Tends to frighten people

I try to find the balance

But it might be easier
to suppress it all
be an asshole
or fire her

but then I would
just feel lousy
about myself

I just cant win

Sunday, June 5, 2016

ups and downs

The downsides of
Getting old are
You start to get grays
Where you don’t want them
You become tired more easily
Can’t drink as much
Cant’ play hard anymore

the upsides are
People become clearer with their intentions
You don’t need as many people around
It doesn’t matter how you act
What you wear
What you have
And there is an end in sight
 To the bullshit

I just want another go around
To do more damage
Because when you are young
You don’t realize
Or listen

But growing old
Is inevitable
So I hope people
Will open up their ears
And shut their mouths more

Saturday, January 30, 2016

waste of time and money

There are many
 Things in life
That can qualify
   As a waste
Of time
  And money

 Of what those things
Might be
 When we choose to
Spend money
 and use our spare time
  We do expect
Some results

 It be temporary
 A break from boredom

But when a
  Young lass
Requests a donation
  To commit a certain
Act of debauchery
 Nothing defines
Waste more than
 A requirement
To wear a flunky
 when receiving
A bob on the knob

i am

a Rotten son of a bitch
It says so
Right here

It was my
 Birth given

It came with a
 Lack of compassion

I knew of
 Nothing else
Nothing else
 Felt even less

The only time
 I’m more than this
   Is when I am
In my sleeping
 State of mind

A state where

Alone exist

thank you

is all the broad
 as we lay
next to one another
 after bodies sweating

the street light
 peeking through
the rip
 in the curtain

the whizzing
  of the ceiling fan blowing
cold welcomed air

no other sounds heard
 or words said

laid up
  staring in to the
back of my mind
   recycling thoughts
that led us here

just an easy escape
  with an uncomplicated

Sunday, January 10, 2016

what happened

to that little girl
with little fingers
little toes
big smile

the little girl
who i rocked
back and forth
back and forth with
because she could
not find comfort
on her own

the little girl
i held so tightly
and could not
let go
no matter how
her screams were

the little girl
who i played
dolls with
pushed on the swings
chased after
in the park

the little girl
who needed me
depended on me

she is now
growing up
her own
as i continue
to devote myself
patiently waiting
for her to return